Navigating The Narcissus Syndrome.

Urban Dictionary:

A narcissist is someone who is
arrogant , an exhibitionist , vain, manipulative, and greedy for admiration. Often caused by childhood trauma and PTSD. Narcissists do not do well with sharing, especially when it comes to relationships and friendships do to their need of attention and admiration. They crave attention and often get jealous when others receive it more than them. Narcissist cannot be helped because they usually do not know that they are narcissistic

Working with a boss who seems to be suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder could be quite tasking .While It may be difficult to Know with certainty that someone is suffering from this disorder, there are indicators :

  • This person always consistently insists that he is right, while lacking the ability to admit being wrong
  • This boss has an interminable need for admiration combined with an extremely vindictive nature when he does not feel admired, or feels disrespected.
  • He goes from one extreme to the other and can treat you as the best employee on the planet and a few moments later threaten to terminate you before coworkers of the company, before singing your praise based on his mood or feelings towards you at the given time.
  • He is unable to accept any confrontation, or assertion that there could be any other way than his own to do things, but fraudulently insists that he is always open to ideas
  • This person has no constancy. When angry with you, he may act as if he has totally forgotten any positive feelings about you or your work and may even threaten to get you fired strictly based on what is currently annoying him.
  • He often compares the employees, with the primary purpose to pitch them against each other, often creating divisions, resentment and a lack of cooperation or unity among the employees. Above this, it is easy to fee a sense of dominance.
  • This person can be extremely competitive, with the people on his team, with his counterparts, even with his or her own supervisor

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Many of us spend so much time at work that interactions with our superiors, the way he or she assesses our work and the feedback he or she gives us can have extremely profound effects on mental health and self-esteem. 

Most likely, you have already complained about your boss to your close friends or family and that they have answered -saying things like:

  • QUIT! You do not deserve to be treated like that. It is unacceptable
  • You should nit stand for this kind of treatment. Do not let him talk to you like that!

This is probably true. But it is not always easy to leave one’s job. Often we have no such desire, and talking back at one’s superior is niy a smart way to progress in the workplace. 

Assuming that your goal is indeed to keep your job and that you just want to coexist with your current superior, here are some things you could try;

AVOID INFLICTING NARCISSISTIC INJURIES

Bosses who suffer from narcissistic personality disorders have fragile egoes, and are very sensitive to narcissistic injuries and are generally unable to calmly manage anything that looks like confrontation, embarrassment, insubordination, disrespect or insult. So, do niy outshine the boss.

SET THE LIMITS

If your boys does something that is abusive, illegal or disrespectful, you should immediately contact the HR person in charge of these issues to resolve the problem.  If this is the boss of the bosses, then you may not have a lot of options available yo you other than stay calm. and roll with the punches.

STAY FOCUSED ON YOUR GOALS

Many people think that having to deal with such behavior on a daily basis is not worth it. But the job you do can be an important stepping stone in your career or offer other benefits that keep you trudging on. It’s an individual choice, – no matter what others may advise you to do. 

If you decide to stay, it can be helpful to balance the things you gain from your work versus the pressure / tension. It is then easier to calmly decide to stay in the kitchen of take a hike.  

On days when your boss is particularly obnoxious, refer to this list of reasons why you want to keep your job. This can serve as a reminder that you are not just a victim and that it is important to focus your energy on the benefits of maintaining your position.

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