Raising nice and respectful kids is becoming difficult in this increasingly rude world of ours.
It is the innate desire of every parent to grow their their children into responsible, kind and respectful adults!
Following are some methods for accomplishing this task of growing your children into Master Nice and Miss Cool, which naturally carries over into adulthood.:
Others first, self last.
This is one of the cardinal points of good human relations
Parents would ordinarily put the welfare and success of their children well above those others. But children must learn early – to manage their needs as well as those of others. Children demonstrate an innate selfishness that parents must address early to avoid raising future narcissistic monsters.
To succeed is good, but that’s not the end of it. The child needs to be taught to eschew excessive self centeredness, and have a conscience while succeeding.
Parents must continually drum it into the children’s ears that – help, collaboration and sharing among all – is essential. Much of this aspect of education is ethical. We must inculcate the absolute necessity to honor commitments and promises, even when circumstances make it very difficult.!
Do the right thing not just because it is convenient but because it is the right thing to do.
Ensure the older child always addresses other younger ones respectfully, even when tired, distracted or angry.
Set an example when you interact with other important adults in your children’s lives. People like the Choir Master, Teachers, etc Ensure regularly if the child mixes well in school, if he is obedient – a good social fit. Them take corrective steps if necessary.
Inculcate a spirit of care and gratitude.
It’s never too late to become a good person, but it will not happen automatically. Children need training to help and care for others, but also to express their gratitude to those who love them.
Many studies demonstrate that people who are accustomed to expressing their gratitude are more likely to help, be generous, compassionate and forgiving. This is because they have learnt empathy, sympathy, as well as being perceptive to the feelings of others. A “thank you” never offended anyone!
Learning to pay attention to others is like learning any sport, or handling a musical instrument. Regular repetition reinforces proficiency, since humans learn by repetition.
Make caring for others – by the child – something that comes naturally, like second nature. The reinforcement is stronger of you reward only behavior showing voluntary helpfulness, not those done out of duty or obligation.
Engage your children about the different things they see on TV, the good ones, but also the bad ones. Same for actions of justice or injustice. These are great opportunities to entrench the desired life_attitudes in them.
Solidify a spirit of gratitude in their daily activities, whether at dinner,in bed, in the car,etc, to express their thanks to the people who help them, no matter how small / big their acts. He who is grateful in little would be grateful in much.
Enhance the children’s field of vision
The vast majority of children are concerned about a small circle of people – including their families and friends. The challenge is to get them to care about people who are not in this circle. For example, a newcomer in their class, someone who does not speak their language, someone who is far away from home, etc.
Children must understand the impact of their choices and actions on others. The goal is for your children to develop good values, they must be concerned, even with people who have very different cultures and communities than yours.
Ensure your children are kind and polite to everyone in their daily lives, for example with a bus driver or a waiter, people of lower class standing, the poor, the vulnerable.
Comforting a classmate who was ridiculed, for example is ennobling.
The person we become as adults is often the result of our early childhood experiences and upbringing. The homicidal killers, rapists, narcissists, sado-masochists mostly had fractured childhood. Negligent parents who failed to like the child correctly.
This is why the early developmental stage of a child needs very careful monitoring and shaping.