Fake Friends Are Like Shadows: Always Near You At Your Brightest Moments, But Nowhere To Be Seen At Your Darkest Hour.
True Friends Are Like Stars, You Don’t Always See Them But They Are Always There.
— Habeeb Akande
It is easy to recognise fake friends in time of trouble. But you may not pay enough attention when things are going smoothly.
Given the paucity of true friends, how do you recognise the fake ones.? There are telltale signs, some subtle, others glaring..
TAKE & TAKE VERSUS GIVE & TAKE
You routinely invite him to a party, introduce him to important people who might be helpful professionally. But he never reciprocates, never introduces you to anyone, and when he organizes something, it doesn’t involve you (you learn about it from third party sources).
It is abundantly clear that this isn’t a balanced relationship. It is an association going nowhere fast!
HE GETS IN TOUCH ONLY WHEN HE NEEDS YOU FOR SOMETHING
People who never get in touch except when they need something aren’t friends – they are parasites. and a parasitic relationship only favors the parasite
A genuine friend would ask after your welfare from time to time – just because. No matter how busy, he woukd find time to send the occasional text, make that five-minute phone call, email, be emotionally supportive by remembering little things like your anniversaries, etc.
That’s a friend.
YOU ARE ONE OF THE LAST TO LEARN OF HIS GOOD NEWS.
When there is good news to share (new job, better car, a new house), everyone’s instinct is to call their first circle of friends to state their happiness with. If you habitually only learn the good news a month later via third parties, or through Facebook, then you know you’re not part of it.
YOU ARE ALWAYS AN AFTERTHOUGHT
Plans with him / her are always only at the last minute. Appointments with him have no fixed place or schedule. Nothing long-term ever happens with him – that’s for more important people in his life – colleagues, customers, real friends . You are the spare tyre. He will ditch you once he has no more use for you.
DOES NOT INFORM YOU OF OPPORTUNITIES
True friends help their friends grow . A friend that would keep vital useful information from you is not interested in your progress, and may actually be an enemy in friend’s clothing. This could be as a result of envy.
My careful observation, you can always tell if someone is with you on Amity Lane.
You can’t make anything of your own life when you are wasting your time building somebody else’s own, or cavorting with people who wouldn’t challenge you to be the best that you could be. Fake friends are not worth your energy / time, hence the importance of recognizing them quickly, and accordingly adjusting your interaction (if any) with them. You want to associate with friends who pull you up, and are meaningful to your life journey.
Choosing the people around us is tantamount to choosing the life we intend to lead, and the direction we want to go. And if you get distracted by fake friends, how are you going to identify true friends?.
Stay focused on the people who are really worthwhile, and who have a synchronicity with your life pattern..
There is the medical importance of frolicking with true friends. Having a collection of fair-weather pals won’t do well for your longevity – an established scientific fact. Friends that would stick with you through thick and thin do wonders for your blood pressure!.
Friends are like wine: a great wine cellar will improve with time. It is better to have a few true friends than a motley of those who are only after what they can take from you.
Remember – A Fake Friend Is Worse Than A True Enemy