COURTSHIPS ARE FOREVER

You remember that James Bond film, Diamonds are forever.

Well, courtships are forever too .

Or, should be.

Somebody asked,

Why Would A 66 Yr Old Woman Want To Divorce Her 78 Yr Old Husband Of 39 Years?I don’t get it!

Someone opined,

Irreconcilable differences. Or, Incompatibility.This can happen at any (st)age of marriage….

This elicited the incredulous retort of,

Incompatibility after 39 years? That’s a cruel joke.o

..along comes this hilarious one,

The ATM machine is malfunctioning, or possibly out of cash. She is done using him. The poor old man is now of no use physically of financially.

black marriage

But the response that hit most forcefully home was:

They have possibly used their children as connection point and their main focus in marriage over the years.Now those children, being grown up may have left home / grown up, and the gully between them has become very widened and become conspicuous.

So there’s would be no other binding force, and hence, no particular reason to live together further.

I couldn’t agree more. The only thing keeping lots of marriages together for many couples are the children.

 

This is why the advice to marry your friend, and somebody who shares many of your core values / interests is so vitally important.

It is an admonition that should not be taken with levity.

While the marriage is still young, the couples tend to be busy building the career / home, training the children.

Unless there is conscious effort to the contrary, there is the strong likelihood that the couples won’t be able to spend enough quality time together, especially if they are both working class.

How much awake time are most couples able to spend together in a busy city like Lagos?

The situation is aggravated if you live in a place like Lagos where you may spend as much time in traffic, as you spend working, and you get home dog- tired, day-in, day-out.

bad marriage

Over time, the monotony and day-to-day cycle of routine totally occupies the life of the couple, with the possibility that they grow​ apart over time – without even realizing this.

By the time the children are fairly grown and are independent , and careers have stabilized, the couple may find that they really have nothing in common anymore. This explains why lots of marital philandering tend to happen when careers have stabilized, the kids are becoming fairly independent.

It is therefore important to pay attention to your spouse, make him/ her the focal point while building that career, or raising the kids .

One day, the career would stabilize, the children would be grown and live their independent​ / separate lives.

You may then find out you are married to a stranger, with the resultant marital infidelity, or a full divorce .

 

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