Trust Is The Real Thrust Of The Matter.

Whoever Is Careless With The Truth In Small Matters Cannot Be Trusted With Important Matters

—Albert Einstein

The Best Way To Find Out If You Can Trust Somebody Is To Trust Them

—Ernest Hemingway

The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.

—Ulysses S. Grant

How do we develop trust in the people around us?

Why do some individuals find it so difficult to trust someone in particular? Is there a concrete method to answer the question:

How Can I Know Whether To Trust This Person Or Not ?

These are legitimate questions in a world where individuality is increasingly prevalent but where the need for social support are essential.

See the increasing rate of suicide attempts in a modern city like Lagos?

Influences From Childhood

How do we learn to trust?
How can credence be given to what others say?

A distrustful attitude seems to originate and develop during our childhood phase …the relationship between a baby / child / adolescent with his parents is based on absolute trust.

The child learns trust from early interactions with the parents.

But if this trust shaken, if the child feels betrayed, if he doubts his parents while in the cradle stage, his whole system of values collapses like a pack of cards.

He may have great difficulty in believing in others in later years .

Both children and adolescents are strongly influenced by the attitude their parents adopt towards the outside world: if they show distrust towards others, if they constantly warn the child against others, it will begin to slowly but insidiously erode his confidence in people (as well as his own self-confidence).

Conversely, some people have total trust in others and sometimes it can work against them …Of course, you have to learn to trust others but you also have to learn to be wary, at least be cautious without taking things to excess. It is at the level of this sometimes fragile balance that the level of confidence and trust in people get incubated.

What impedes our ability or willingness to trust others? How can we trust others when we do not know them? What can stop us from having faith in what a person says?

The first cause is self-esteem.

Each person projects that ability to feel good about himself and love the people around him. Another cause is the over-valuation of one’s own capacities: therefore, one begins to underestimate those of others – the conviction that one can do better than the others prevent delegation.

old happy black

Photo courtesy – huffington post

In the professional world, this is an attitude often found amongst department heads, for example, but this abusive behavior is also found in the private sphere as a mother refuses to allow her husband to bath her child because She Would Do Better Than Him.

Why trust? On what criteria can we decide to trust? Each person has their own reasons for deciding whether to trust a person or not.

Objective bases: the skills and qualities of a person or a system (hospital, doctors, etc.) Can influence the decision to trust. For example, you go for the hospital trusting that you are in safe hands, based on the orderly medical system.

We must trust the teacher to educate and take care of children left daily in his care; or believe in the system of dispensation of justice of the country, or trust that mechanic would not ruin tour expensive vehicle engine .

Nevertheless, the question of trust always contains some level of irrationality, some level of intuition, especially when we don’t have specific information to base our decision upon.

The word confidence comes from the Latin etymology “fide” which means “faith” and the prefix “con-” which means “with”.

Therefore, to trust is to have faith in someone, it is an approach that involves some uncertainties that are accepted – necessitating trust to be deployed according to specific situations and people.

How to trust?

To trust is to accept to put oneself in the hands of others, it is therefore to take a risk of becoming a victim of the incompetence or malice of the other person. It also means having to take decisions and make choices that are not based on rigorous analyses or logical reasoning.


To be able to trust someone, to gain confidence, is also to know how to open oneself to others.

Everything is about reciprocity – indeed, if a person enjoys your confidence, it will spontaneously carry a rather positive judgment in your favor and you and will in turn more easily trust him.

Each time you validate the decision of someone to trust you, it is like depositing into an account that earns interest. And each time trust is broken, it is like withdrawing from the bank, depleting the capital and losing the internet that it could have earned if left unwithdrawn.

For those experiencing a loss of self-confidence: by not opening yourself up to others, you leave no latitude for you to be trusted.

This reciprocity makes it possible to benefit from favorable judgments and on the relational level, you will open more widely the field of possibilities both in your love life, friendship or professional dealings.

Finding The Right Balance

Trust should not be the same as gullibility, do not fall into the trusting flippantly because you risk being deeply abused and injured mortally.

Doubt is an excellent tool for critical analysis that allows you to exercise judgment.

To know how to trust others, it is important to teach – from a very young age – to have a critical mind: the rightness of relationships with others lies in this in-between assessment of the situation and ability to trust.

How to find self-confidence and trust others with relative accuracy?

If the level of distrust has become incapacitating or debilitating, it is recommended to be seek professional help.

Trust is not something innate, it is a matter of conditioning, education, instruction, an open-minded but it is always possible to get better at it – with practice.

Learn to open yourself up to others. Self-confidence and trust in others are not just words: studies have shown that there are some physiological and psychological benefits when you trust, because people you demonstrate trust in are happier and healthier, and in turn tend to be more trusting.of people generally.

To Trust More Is To Live More, And Love More, And We Can Agree This Is Something We Need More Of In This Sorry World.

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