Perhaps you remember that wildly popular musical oldie by Tina Turner, What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Well, what’s sex……
According to Wikipedia, sexual abstinence (or continence) is the “non-use of the genitals for sexual activity”.
The conventional meaning is within the framework of a relationship with another individual, but can be extrapolated to include a refrain from masturbation.
Abstinence is not always volitional. Chastity could be a choice of life (for religious conviction or a desire for spiritual elevation). It could be due to an illness, or the absence /death of a partner, etc.
In terms of sexuality, there are very few standards. For this reason, it is difficult to draw up a precise list of the “harms” that can result from the lack of sexual activity.
Numerous studies corroborate the benefits of regular sexual activity to health, sleep quality and even IQ, we must keep in mind that sexuality is not necessarily a two-way affair: a solo orgasm will bring the same (physical) benefits.
On the psychological level, however, abstinence may have some impact that will vary from one individual to another.
In a period of extended abstinence, I feel tense, both physically and psychologically,” says someone. I concentrate less, I am more impatient, even aggressive.
.. Someone says
A clinical sexologist and psychotherapist says that abstinence endured can bring out in each person the “character weaknesses” already present in his personality. For example, if there is a proclivity to depression, irascibility or introversion, abstinence may amplify these traits.
People who are abstinent for a very long time could also develop aberrant behaviors!
Another consequence is that some people feels anxious when they resume sexual activity after a long period, believing they have lost their skills of intimacy- forever.
I’m afraid to resume a sex life and it stops me in my efforts to meet someone new
Physically, a woman may have difficulty being adequately lubricated after long abstinence, causing pain during penetration after a few months of abstinence. A man of course have no such worry.
When people remain celibate for several months, even years, without a sexual partner, they tend to see their self-esteem plummet. They begin to doubt seriously their power of attraction.
I have a funny perception of myself, it’s like I was asexual. I feel that my lack of desire is perceptible and that, therefore, men ignore me. It devalues me and creates a sense of sadness and injustice, more than frustration.
I think I’m pretty and open to people. But as men do not really approach me to court, I sometimes feel like I’m scaring them or the whole city has been told I’m bad news in bed!
After a year of celibacy, without any adventure, I have come to not even want to socialize. My friends were in a couple and I was tired of feeling so left out of the sexual loops of things.
For some people, masturbation fills their hormonal needs fairly well. Unfortunately, solo sexual activity is ultimately unsatisfying.
Nothing beats the real thing !
It is often said that women can cope more easily with abstinence than men.
What is known is that in general, men would have stronger libido (attributed to raging testosterone). On the other hand, men would be less likely than women to talk about their sexual deficiencies.
While men see sex as a mostly mechanical activity, most women tend to associate it with emotion.
The period of sexual abstinence can be an excellent opportunity to take draw up a personal balance sheet: what do we expect from life? What bad habits do I want to axe? What do we want from our next amorous relationship?
It is also a perfect opportunity to know your body thoroughly … and make love to oneself (if we exclude mast of nation from by he abstinence definition).
For men, masturbation makes them know their body better and, subsequently,making them less diffident about their physical needs with a partner.
Indulging myself in solo pleasure has allowed me to experience sensations hitherto unknown to me.
When, later, I met my lover, there was no ambivalence on what I love.
Like with food, where regular detoxification is recommended by health practitioners (by eating light occasionally -say weekends), it does us good to stay off sex occasionally for ‘psychological and spiritual cleansing’ reasons.
After all, sex is not food, is it?