To Live Long, Avoid Banks

Someone was owing me money. This money had been due for payment for a while. Supplications to her, the gods, and copious ablution had not yielded results in successfully softening the mind of this debtor and repatriating this money.

So, when this debtor suddenly called out of the blues to come for my money, I said to myself, Ope o (thank God).

At last!

photo courtesy -

photo courtesy –

Getting there on the appointed day, this bigshot said, oh, I forgot my chequebooks at home o. She rummaged in her drawer and brought out a tattered chequebook. Well, thank goodness I still have funds in this old account.

My heart skipped when I saw the chequebook she fished out! Why?

This particular bank is notorious for unending queues. You go there, you probably need to carry your pillow along. It is not even salubrious that the air conditioners in this bank (the particular branch close to me) hardly ever work properly. You end up sweating while on the queue like a captive about to be beheaded by ISIS!.

Sorry Ma, but,can’t you transfer the funds electronically no? Her scornful laughter rustled the sheaves of paper on her ornate desk. No; I don’t do electronic banking o. I don’t even use ATM cards. Let someone no come empty my account overnight for me. You know naaa .

This is a Professor of Mathematics speaking!

The question that has always agitated my mind is why we have so much queue in our banks. Even the ones that are supposedly the best still have inexplicable queues.

I heard that this particular bank (whose cheque I was being issued) closed down one of its branches for a day because their generator had a major fault! Yes!

I am tempted to mention the particular bank, but, Avaunt thee, Satan!


So, why do many banks in Nigeria still have serpentine queues in their banking halls? We have ATMs that accept cash deposits, online transfer facilities, mobile money outfits, POS and electronic payment / receipt solutions.

Despite this, banks still mill with crowds, in many banks in metropolises.

Could it be that the ratio of available financial solutions, compared to customers is disproportionate, or that people are just like this Professor, so would do things the traditional way, or what exactly is the problem?

A particular bank used to pride itself as always concluding your transaction in three minutes, max. That was in the late eighties . They didn’t even have chairs in the banking halls, then, as you wouldn’t have a need to sit down. They were that efficiently speedy. Now, that specific bank is one of the most notorious for mind boggling queues. You need to mentally psyche yourself up before going to pay them a visit.

Perhaps we simply don’t have enough banks (branches)? Why not license more, or, probably, the existing ones build more branches?

The situation where you waste many man hours on traffic, coupled with more waste of time on bank / ATM queues can not be doing wonders for our comatose economy.

The possible abrupt Boko Haramian attack in crowded places and armed robbery cases don’t really make banks attractive to visit anymore.

Just like Mouth Action and Worship can be dangerous to your health, it would appear that stressful banking can also do damage to one’s health too!

The cashless policy of government does not seem to be catching up quickly enough. Perhaps more people DO need to be educated on the need for adopting online transactions MORE?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *