TIME IS A THIEF OF AFFECTION

It is said that “procrastination is a thief of time”. As we shall soon see, tine is also a thief of affection. So we can safely conclude that “procrastination is a thief of affection”.

Procrastination. Time. Intertwined .

It is often said that “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. The idea is, when two people are physically far away from each other, they would feel great affection for each other because we usually cherish what is not readily available to us. Isn’t it said that too much familiarity vreeds contempt? Also, Too much circulation makes the price go down

In the quote above it is not “distance” that is actually being referred to, but “time”. In these days of modern tschnology, being physically far away doesn’t always nean you can’t “see” each other other. Technology mitigates that, somewhat. With the right material resources, distance is easily conquered, but time is limited. It is the same twenty four hours that is available to every human being, daily.

Photo courtesy - spinsuck.com

Photo courtesy – spinsuck.com

True. when we haven’t seen somebody dear to us for a while (friend, colleague, spouse), we often feel exhilarated at the reunion. But it appears that the period in between the interaction is more critical than the distance itself. The frequency of interaction is also vital.

Check this out. You are in Frankfurt and the wife is in Abuja. Although modern technology makes it possible to use communication tools Skype, WhatsApp,email etc to “stay in touch” without “touching”, is that really enough? We have five senses. You can only exercise the senses of sight and sound using modern technology, in this instance. The other senses of touch, taste and smell are absent when using modern forms of communucation. There are conversations better carried out with your spouse, or friend, face to face, that can not be substituted for when there is physical distance between you two. There are things a simple reassuring hug (at the right time) would address – that a thousand words over the telephone – may not

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Humans are said to learn through repetition. You grow to love (and keep loving) your spouse and fortify that love by repeatedly interacting with her, listening to his body language, seeing him operate in different situations, smelling him, touching him, observing his facial expressions. The converse is that the learning to love can also be “unlearned” if key elements of interaction are not continually exercised and nourished. Like the Abuja/Frankfurt couple above, they could “unlearn” all (or most of what) they have learnt about the better-half through “non-repetition” of the critical portions of the interactive experience.

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Nurturing relationships is like saving for the future. The consistency and frequency of the savings could be more important than ocassional and sporadic large savings. A relationship separated by time (/distance) would lack this constant nurturing, like a plant that needs consistent minute daily nurturing (rather then large infrequent watering).

In the book 48 Laws of power by Robert Greene, {Download here}, there is this excerpt…

Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.

This is Law Number 16.

Creating scarcity by being inaccessible or unavailable may work where power / dominance is what is being grappled with, but an over-abundance of scarcity in issues of love / affection would likely have an alienating effect instead.

The critical thing is knowing just how much scarcity would spice up a relationship, rather than harm it. And that’s the balancing fine art people in long-distance relationships need to learn and exercise.

 

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