What is the basis of the assertion that The Man Is The Head Of The House? Is it the physical male apparatus that determines this headship? On the contrary, can we say he who brings in the most cookie is actually the head of the house?
There are many instances where the woman earns far more than the husband. Sometimes, the situation is like that from the onset of their relationship. Other times, this is something that happens later in the marriage.
The Claim Of Equality Of Couples In The Home May Not Be Totally Unconnected With The Earning Power
Perhaps the wife landed an awesome job that catapulted her into a stratospheric earning orbit, far above the husband’s league.
While the upwardly mobile, young and highly educated elites may not mind a yawning disparity in income levels so much, the rise in economic power for the females may not be to the taste of all.
I can’t imagine my wife out-earning me, “says Joseph, 38, a manager in a large company. The same goes for Folabi, a 42-year-old, who was asked how he would feel if he finds himself in the situation where his wife can convert all his currencies to coins. He said:
It would be quite hard for me to stomach – for my wife to earn more. I am macho like that I must always maintain the image of the man who brings the luggage home on his back. If not, how can I claim to be a man?.
Besides, Did James Hadley Chase not say,You Are Dead Without Money?
For many men, when they are no longer the financial pillar of the home, their manhood is often devastated.
This feeling of inadequacy is traceable to the relics of the past, the hunter-gatherer era where the husband has the role of the head of the family – the sole provider, from where his claim to power – manhood – devolves. But the situation has changed in modern times, with the men, losing their bearings, feeling vulnerable.
Regardless of how much we may want to subjugate this, money (and its copious availability) remains a major lubricant in the engine of most relationships. Money Is Power, and he who controls the money controls the relationship, even if not overtly.
In marriages, money remains the pivot of power, which distributes stereotyped roles. Many successful female executives are often driven by their financial leverage, and often have to choose between career /financial success and a harmonious marital life. Their financial and vocation seem to make them value their man less, or make their men feel less valued. This is even more glaring when they have a similar level of education.
For the very successful and moneyed wife, she often has to constantly validate the man, and massage his ego. Men being egoistic beings, innocuous actions that would be overlooked ordinarily could become weighty issues when the wife is a higher flier.
In the olden days, it was uncommon for the two parents to both seek their livelihoods. That was the duty of the man. Being a woman at work was not as prevalent as now. In modern times, the woman earning more than the husband is becoming commonplace, and gaining reluctant acceptance by many men.
A fact of life, like death.
As a man, would you be cool with your wife earning ten times what you bring in?
Would this cramp your style, and puncture your BALLS ?