Spoil The Rod by spearing the Child

Let’s ask a question, up front, shall we?

Would you spare your child and spoil the rod (from inactivity – leading to the decay of the koboko).

A child has done something wrong. You could take a cane to his stubborn hide.  Or,  you could ‘spear’ his heart with some choice unpalatable words.

Which would you deploy  as corrective measure ?

This question is for both teachers and parents.
grand dad
There was this vociferous argument where we were debating the rudiments of  ‘effective parenthood’. The consensus was that it took lots to raise kids properly nowadays.  But there was serious disagreement as to whether corporate punishment was necessary (in school and at home) to bring out the best in a recalcitrant child.

One of the Holy books says,  ‘spare the rod,  and spoil the child’, and goes further to opine that,  ‘folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.’

Photo courtesy - blackandsmart.wordpress.com

Photo courtesy – blackandsmart.wordpress.com

As we can see,  it would appear that applying discipline seems to have something to do with deploying the corrective power of the rod.

Personally,  while growing up, I would rather be whipped, than have my parents get tough on me verbally.  While a whipping is easily forgotten (even if physical scars remain ), words spoken to a child by a displeased parent  could remain with that child  for years (or life!).

It is easy for a parent to lose his cool and say disparaging things that could haunt the Child psychologically later on in life.

Photo courtesy - blackcelebkids.com

Photo courtesy – blackcelebkids.com

My personal opinion is that children differ in their attitudinal dispositions . So,  prescribing a particular method would be inappropriate. I was hardly ever whipped by my parents while growing up. But,  as a parent,  I have seen children who only ‘conform ‘ only because ‘the fear of the rod is the root of all good behaviour’.

It could be a matter of how ‘reasonable’ a child is,  as it is impossible to reason with an unreasonable child.

Go to a public place like a mall, and you can see wide margins in how children behave.  You can tell which parents have are succeeding in raising well behaved children,  and the ones making a dismal job.

What makes the difference in the disparity ?  Genes,  child raising techniques,  environment,  what?

Psychologists seem to disagree with the idea of applying the rod to a child.  As a matter of fact, in some climes, you could get arrested for caning a child (even your own).

So,  what’s your take here? .

Whip the living daylights out of stubborn / heady kids,  or appeal to their reasoning faculty?

Which method has worked for you in raising you kids,  and were you whipped to an inch of your graveyard when growing up,  or in school?.

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