I recently read an article by Segun Adeniyi titled The Agony Of Monogamy
Just a day before, there was a quote by a Pastor basically saying that, kissing between non married people is a (potential) sin, as it could lead to fornication.
In his books, you must be married to be able to express your sexuality, even if you are 35 years old! Do I smell hyoocrisy?
Express yourself, don’t repress yourself!
The two issues resuscitated my own long held view of our hypocrisy regarding issues of sexuality (whether within matrimony or outside it).
Someone pretty much summed up my thinking about coping with premarital sexual urges and partaking in escapades.. with the following comment:
The issue I have with all these is this.
Puberty comes early in humans, but because of the problem of education and money that we’ve created for ourselves, we don’t get married until 28/29, and even far over. That’s like 15 years after puberty has started.
Now asking a man/woman to refrain from everything sexual, which is a natural urge (for even 15-year olds) sounds almost impossible.
Perhaps the answer lies in prayers?
Someone corroborated this line of thought with:
We are the one causing problems for ourselves. In earlier times, when all we did was farm and eat, a young man could marry once he attained puberty and underwent some rite of passage. Probably build a house beside his father. And continue his life. But we just had to make things complicated for ourselves.
It is hypocritical for nature to make humans sexually ready too early, while they are totally unready (in modern society) in all other ramifications.
A thirteen year old can impregnate. Can he take care of himself, not to talk of a family?
Regarding the Adeniyi piece about society forcing humans into unnatural alliance, someone quipped
How can two humans be tethered to each other for life (in monogamous matrimony and be expected not stray? Ain’t that too unrealistic and restrictive?
Tell me…if your wife wouldn’t object, and society wouldn’t frown, would you chase that hot babe that has been giving you the neon light or not? Tell the truth and shame the Devil!
Is it not natural to give in to other urges like eating when hungry, crying when sad, laughing when happy?
Why is it different with sexual urge?
Someone eventually concluded this conversation with:
If you are hungry, why deny the hunger.?
If you have a sexual urge, you curtail or curb it because you are married and society / wifey / hubby would frown. Or, if you are unmarried, puritanical saints would term it fornication and threaten you with utter fiery damnation in Hell.
Some would say the reason we are different from animals is because we don’t give in to all urges. Yes; and that’s why animals would probably not have ulcers with the frequency that repressed animals do!
Denying.or curbing an urge does not mean the urge is absent. And thats the hypocrisy of marriage and adolescent sexuality generaly.
Don’t fornicate, don’t masturbate, just concentrate on maintaining chastity!
This hypocritical societal expectations is also the cause of adolescent / marital misery, worldwide