Everything in Life Has a Cost


The other day, there was this widely popularized report of a UK based Nigerian Pastor declaring and instructing married couples on the only godly way of having (marital) intimacy.

Additionally, the pastor said,

“…touching your wife lovingly is not a sin, but it becomes a sin when she feels like you are self-servicing her. Our hands are not meant for such an act. If your wife touches you such that you release without penetration, that is a great sin, so we need to be careful…I want to be very clear that when I refer to ‘touching your wife lovingly,’ it is not self-servicing her for arousal. I do not say a man should do that. The Lord told me He detests all forms of self-service.”
Now, that’s hilarious.! I can’t stop wiping tears from my ears and nose.!

In his (sex) books, the only way to have sex is face2face, the missionary way. And of course, it must only be for procreative purposes, never for pleasure! I could very well sing that Bob Marley song, “Emancipate yourself from mental (religious) slavery ”

While the Pastor is definitely entitled to his (religious? ) opinion, it suddenly got me thinking … why do most things in life have to be prohibited, either by religion(ists) or nature, have associated costs, or at least have so many strings attached to them?.

Usually you hear the saying that “the best things in life are free”. Things like happiness, friendship, love, laughter, good health, your sight, etc. are supposed to be absolutely free of charge (aka, price / cost).

On close examination, is this really true? Is it not a fact that,”Freedom has no price, but it has a cost”

The best things in life actually aren’t things, and are usually not free. They are often moments. And moments have associated costs.

Check out how some of the very pleasant things in life are not just there for the taking:

“..You can’t have a blissful marriage / wonderful friendship without continually working on (at) it, and having (some) money and time to sustain it.

..Making money needs tireless sacrifices and effort.

..Being a parent is fraught with (occasional) heartbreaks and anxiety. Watching your kids growing is one of the most pleasurable things in life, but has its troubling moments.

..(Casual) sex is generally intensely pleasurable but may give you guilt feelings (if you listen to people like the above pastor), hand you dreadful diseases, and produce an unwanted pregnancy.

..You often need to give up  time for recreation… time that could have been spent on more productive things.”

Etc, etc..

Clearly, certain things may be “free”, but they have associated costs. Even breathing in air needs some effort!

The next time you hear. the platitude that the best things in life are free, just know that there are always opportunity costs to almost everything.

No, nothing is really free.

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