There is the news that Lagos state now has a Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT).
Have a look
And the conversation started, discussing domestic violence, the causes, and how to avoid it.
Dele: Do we really need a separate team for domestic and sexual violence?
How is sexual violence different from any other form of violence, to require separate teams to handle?
Akim: See, bros, it is like special courts. Or maybe a new way to create jobs for the boys.
Dele: Yes, job for some cronies… that’s all. You are telling me regular policemen and policewomen can’t handle domestic and sexual violence anymore, abi?
Akim: Psychologists. Lawyers. Detectives are needed to handle this properly. No, your regular police can’t handle this.
Dele: Violence, domestic or external, wetin be difference o? Entire agencies have been known to be created on the past to accommodate some jobless people o. I suspect this is along that line too.
Akim: I think it’s a laudable move.. the deterrent effect will be high too
Akim: There are crimes of passion. People aren’t thinking when they commit domestic violence, so there’s no time for a rational thought like deterrence to come in. Nobody goes home with the intention of beating his wife, it just happens. Would such a person be thinking of consequences at such a point?
My own be say, ladies should avoid men with uncontrollable tempers.
Dele: En en? How about men avoiding women with temperamental and pugilistic characters? Women beat up men too, you know! I actually suggest couples take on taekwondo before marrying. Something similar to going for those genotype or blood test, you know. . Mutually assured deterrence akin to the MAD of yore
Akim: Is there any woman out there who won’t provoke you? The ability to laugh it off is what’s important.
Dele: You are evidently not married, I am sure. How can you say this? It’s in the Bible,… a quarrelsome woman is worse than something something..
Some are too hot to handle o.
There is no human that doesn’t have a breaking point.. that breaking point just varies from one individual to the next. A man sees another man ‘knacking’ his wife in their matrimonial bed, and in a fit of rage gets into a fight with the other man, do you think the thought of death sentence for murder would enter his head at such a point? All he’s seeing is red. That’s what I mean by no rational thought can be in his head at such a time. Something makes these men snap, and once they snap, no amount of deterrence is going to calm them down.
Me, I wouldn’t say I can’t beat a woman. Luckily, I do not have that kind of woman that can provoke me to that point. There is always a reason to beat the spouse black and blue. He could be high on something. Or the woman pushed him over the precipice. The gravity of that catalyst merely varies with individuals.
A man under the influence of hallucinogens, or maybe drunk would not remember the repercussions of turning his wife into a punching bag.
Akim: I disagree jor. There are a lot of spouses that won’t even beat a spouse, no matter the gravity.
Dele: Bros, forget that thing! Every man has a snapping point. When that point is reached that snap degenerates into slaps sharp sharp.
Akim: Maybe we are giving ourselves reasons to be violent. Once a man raises hand to beat the wife.. it will continue.
Dele: Not really o. What if the wife changes and starts treating the husband like a King? There must be a catalyst to the slaps, and the woman can neutralize the catalyst easily, even if it is drugs or drinks.
I am not a violent man, but I know I can be provoked enough to dish out punches to my spouse.
Akim: It’s best no to raise that hand in the first place.
Dele: The angriest I have got in my married life is to pour the food served me into the toilet. That was the worst I have got to, on the “Anger Scale”. WheneverI remember this, and Iam deeply ashamed.
How about psychological violence? How will DSVRT handle that.? The truth is that, psychological violence is far more damaging than physical abuse in domestic setting…
As a parting short, I would opine that some spouses need some serious beating to reset their heads into default mode. Just like some children
(* Runs off before the missiles start flying.. *)