DO NOT DISTURB YOURSELF WITH A STUB OF STUBBORNNESS

Daily interaction with a partner who is stubborn about certain topics, or fiercely argumentative can be tiring.

The following are some nuggets as to how to cope:

Effective Communication is the most important aspect of a harmonious relationship. But how do we interact with someone who is opinionated /
stubborn, who remains attached to her opinions and who does not want to consider a different point of view?

What is the best way to handle a stubborn wife?

She wouldn’t listen / take any advice from her husband…doesn’t respect the man’s opinion about anything.

When she occasionally accepts  being wrong, she does that on her own terms.

Any opinion expressed by the husband  must be Googled – for her to believe.

Trying to reform or change this kind of person is a waste of time, an impossibility. All that can be done is,  accept things as they are, and adopt certain techniques as coping mechanisms.

DO NOT TRY TO EMPLOY SUPERIOR ARGUMENTS

To be right at all costs will only be a waste of energy. After all, A (wo)Man Convinced Against Her Will Is Of The Same Opinion Still.. It is futile to
Condemn, Complain Or Criticise. as Dale Carnegie said.

The more you insist on your own viewpoints, the more your partner will adopt the goat_like mentality, close up and reject your logical persuasions. Water off a duck’s back!.

Listen patiently to her arguments. If she refuses to speak, try to understand why, then make your point and remember that it is your turn to listen. If you want to talk to her about a project, an idea, explain the whole process, and not just the result. People are more likely to agree with an idea subtly dropped, and reasoned out together, and camouflaged as if it is their own idea!

Speak calmly to push (gently) your point of view. Raising the voice it’s counterproductive here. Besides, for something that is not really vitally important, must you really have your way? All the time?

Communication Is To A Relationship What Oxygen Is To Life.

Without It, It Dies.

EXAMINE YOURSELF

The apparent stubbornness you observe in a spouse may just be a reaction to your own personality. Perhaps you always like to have your way in all things? Are you too pushy, domineering? Do you put down your souse and make her ‘feel little’? All these may spark an argumentative fire in your better half.

Remember that (wo)men are more easily led than driven and a gentle word would accomplish what brashness or braggadocio never would.

DO NOT HURT HER EGO

Many vociferous arguments occur not because the one arguing necessarily is interested in facts, but just to assert a sense of importance. If you win through superior logic, it would still be a pyrrhic victory.

If you sense that  the discussion is become confrontational, do not give in to  insults, criticisms, judgments, unsolicited advice, moralizing remarks or acrimonious statements. You risk hurting and making your partner feel small, with the attendant result of sticking to guns more stubbornly than ever.

LOOK FOR SOLUTIONS

Instead of focusing on the areas of dispute of the discussion, try to find areas of agreement – together. Defend your position calmly and, if the person does not agree or respond, give her time to think about what you said. He / she will come back to you later.

Besides, staying within a relationship demands a readiness to work out (emergent) differences and make sacrifices when / where necessary.

To appease the conflict, try the way of kindness. Let her know that her argument is interesting and that you take it into account, and defuse the tense atmosphere by talking about topics that are easier to deal with.

When we say somebody is stubborn, is it not really a matter of your standpoint? It is like saying somebody is foolish. The person being adjudged as being foolish may actually have the same opinion of the judge.

Therefore, dealing with a spouse considered stubborn may mostly be a matter of shifting your perspective. You insist on a change of opinion to YOUR own viewpoint. Now, YOU are the one being stubborn!

If it is not a life threatening or vitally important thing, ask yourself, What’s The Price Of Peace In A Relationship?.

Then, suppress that ego and move on!

Note : You can substitute the genders as appropriate . I am male, hence the use of she, her, etc..

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