Breaking The Marital ViceGrip Through Advice..

I cannot understand how unmarried people can arrogate to themselves the ability to advise married folks on marital issues!

Don’t listen to all those unmarried Pastors spewing marital theories on Social Media..


Being a topic concerning religion (Unmarried Pastors) sparks started flying left and right.

Touch not my anointed, right?

Naturally, when you start talking about unmarried people giving counsel to married folks (undergoing marital problems), what comes to mind immediately is the unmarried Catholic Reverend Fathers. They aren’t allowed to marry, so have not been exposed to personal marital issues.

It is very easy to look in as a third party and start theorising about how to solve marital problems, but as they say, he who wears the shoe knows where they pinch.

Someone says,

Reverend Fathers advise from a spiritual point of view. So when we talk about unmarried people being unqualified to advise people having marital problems, Fathers and Sisters are exempted because they are being led by the holy spirit. All Priest should be able to handle issues affecting humanity, and that includes and is not limited to marital affairs.

Another person, pursuing the spiritual line, submitted,

Being married / unmarried is not what gives somebody expertise on successful marriage otherwise, how come there are so many failures in marriage? (Remember also that there are TRAINED Professional Counsellors who are not married, yet doing a yeoman’s job!) Marriage is predominantly a spiritual union, therefore being a good marriage counsellor requires spiritual insight… from God, not (just) practical experience.

I feel the medium used for counselling (social or not ), as well as inherent wisdom may not suffice. (wisdom comes from knowledge and how can you be wise if you have not experienced?)

Rather, real_world practical experience of the one counselling, is necessary… something which unmarried priests clearly lack.
It is ridiculous for someone who has never driven to start grandstanding and attempting to teach someone else how to drive,

How can fish teach a rat how to navigate labyrinths on land?

No matter how long you have watched people drive, listened to tales of mechanics swindle owners or traffic officials rip-off car owners,, you are just a theorist until you actually own a car and pass through the baptism of fire . So your advice would be mostly theoretical – like a novelist who has never visited a particular city just writing about it from imagination, and information got online. It will never be as good as that of somebody who has actually lived in that city for long .

Supposing somebody loses a daughter. While I am sympathizing with that person, I cannot possibly know how it feels to lose a sibling because I have never lost any..

I can not feel the pain of the bereaved. All I can do is give some soothing words to make the bereaved feel better about the loss.

Ditto, marriage.

This discourse accentuates the veracity of the saying that ‘what an elder can see sitting down, a child will not see even while perched on a mahogany tree’. If you have not been in there, you can not know what it is like.

There are many things, characters and behaviors that a marriage counselor can know about ONLY If (s)he is married, or has once been married .

Priests can preach or counsel within the ambit of their spuritual knowledge, but that does not make them experts in Marital Imbroglio.

More often than not, marital strifes do not follow logic. Therefore although anybody with common sense and a good grasp of logic may be able to give general advice that sounds very great, such advice may not always work.

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